Why I Want It

Other gloriously useless things you definitely need:

Magical Unicorn Mask

Detailed white latex unicorn mask with a realistic fur mane and horn.

This Magical Unicorn Mask features a realistic fur mane and a face that is, quite frankly, vaguely disturbing. It’s the ultimate way to reveal your inner weirdo, providing a quality latex construction that turns every social interaction into a confusing, mythical masterpiece of high-functioning absurdity.

$35ishWANT IT

Marty McFly's Hoverboard

Upright pink and yellow hoverboard replica with retro striped pattern and "Hover Board" text

Finally, you can own a piece of cinematic history without the pesky side effects of accidental time travel. This 1:1 scale Marty McFly Hoverboard replica features authentic sticker details and foot straps, making it the perfect way to look incredibly cool while remaining firmly grounded on the floor.

$79ishWANT IT

Creepy Window Peeper

Creepy pale peeping tom figure wearing a black hood, positioned against a window.

Give your neighbors a reason to call for help with this Peeping Tom. It’s the ultimate way to ensure no one feels safe in their own home this Halloween, featuring a ghoulish face and a heavy-duty suction cup for maximum, unblinking creepiness.

$42ishWANT IT

Game of Thrones Cookbook

Game of Thrones cookbook featuring a feast of medieval food and dramatic table setting.

This Game of Thrones cookbook is the ultimate gift for the friend who treats every meal like a high-stakes political maneuver. Featuring over 100 recipes and a George R. R. Martin introduction, it ensures your next dinner party feels appropriately dramatic, delicious, and just slightly threatening.

$25ishWANT IT

Dollar Bill Origami Book

Extreme origami book cover showing a detailed green creature illustration on a black background.

Turn your dwindling savings into a masterpiece with this Dollar Bill Origami Book. It’s the ultimate way to make your bank account look like a high-end gallery while ensuring your cash becomes physically impossible to spend at a grocery store.

Dapper Dog Neckties

Assortment of colorful patterned dog neckties, including stripes and polka dots, on a wooden surface.

Your dog is officially more dressed for success than you are with this 10-pack of dapper neckties. These adjustable bow ties turn every walk into a high-stakes corporate board meeting, ensuring your pup is the best-dressed employee in the entire neighborhood.

$13ishWANT IT

"Contents My Face" Cosmetic Bag

Vibrant pink zippered cosmetic bag with "Contents: my face" text on a light wood surface.

This hot pink bag literally contains your face. The "Contents My Face" cosmetic case is a hilariously honest way to organize your beauty essentials while acknowledging that your face is basically a chaotic construction site of products—the ultimate gift for the friend who treats their skincare like a high-stakes science experiment.

$33ishWANT IT

Monochrome Paper Straws

Clear glass holding iced dark drink with a patterned black and white paper straw on a wooden table.

Finally, you can save the planet while looking like a moody minimalist at your next picnic. These Kikkerland Paper Straws provide a chic, black and white alternative to plastic that makes every sip feel like a high-fashion editorial. They are biodegradable, compostable, and way cooler than your neighbor's boring straws.

$50ishWANT IT

Workaholics Bear Coat

A person wearing a large brown faux fur bear costume coat while relaxing on a sofa.

Finally, you can achieve Blake’s level of peak-performance hibernation in total faux fur luxury. This official Workaholics bear coat is the ultimate way to stay warm while pretending your life isn't a complete disaster, making it a must-have for any fan of the show's absurdity.

$179ishWANT IT

Wobbling Chess Set

Wooden wobbling chess set with wiggling pieces arranged on a checkered wooden board.

Finally, a way to play chess while your pieces are clearly having a mid-life crisis. This prize-winning set features a concave board and weighted pieces that wiggle and dance but refuse to fall off, making every move feel like a high-stakes, drunken masterpiece of strategy.

$289ishWANT IT

Nicolas Cage Pillowcase

Throw pillowcase featuring a black and white portrait of Nicolas Cage framed by leopard print pattern

The Nicolas Cage Pillowcase is the ultimate interior design choice for anyone whose aesthetic is "unhinged cinematic history." This floral, berry-colored cover provides a soft place to rest your head while you contemplate his many roles and your own questionable life choices.

$4ishWANT IT

Faceless Tuxedo Morphsuit

Black faceless tuxedo morphsuit costume displayed on a white mannequin in a modern hallway.

The faceless tuxedo morphsuit is the ultimate way to attend a gala while simultaneously haunting the buffet table. You get the class of a formal suit paired with the unsettling vibe of a Victorian ghost who lost his head.

$44ishWANT IT