Why I Want It

Other gloriously useless things you definitely need:

Wrong Answer Exam Book

Blue exam book titled F in Exams showing a handwritten geometry problem on the cover.

Finally, a way to prove you’re the smartest person in the room by being the most confidently incorrect. F in Exams features the very best totally wrong test answers, making it the ultimate trophy for anyone who has mastered the art of failing with style.

$6ishWANT IT

Alphabet of Terrible Advice

Alphabet of Terrible Advice

Finally, a way to ruin your life with actual style and literary flair. K is for Knifeball provides 80 pages of hilarious limericks and parody advice that are perfectly useless for anyone trying to be a functional human being, making it the ultimate chaotic gift.

$6ishWANT IT

Sarcastic "Ick" Mug

White ceramic mug displaying the bold black text ICK resting on a rustic wooden kitchen counter.

Tell your friends their life choices are absolutely repulsive without actually having to say the words. This "Ick" ceramic mug captures that perfect "please stop" energy for your morning coffee, making it the ultimate accessory for the judgmentally caffeinated and chronically unimpressed.

$19ishWANT IT

Middle Class Problems Book

Humorous book cover titled Middle Class Problems showing a man in a yellow shirt holding his head.

Finally, a book that validates your existential dread about owning a lawnmower and a slightly too expensive toaster. Middle Class Problems by Benjamin Lee turns the soul-crushing absurdity of modern life into a hilarious comedy, making it the perfect gift for anyone currently drowning in suburban mediocrity.

$142ishWANT IT

Idiots Are Everywhere Book

Hand holding bread near a book cover featuring a humorous wildlife warning sign in a grassy setting.

Idiots Are Everywhere is the literary validation you need for every time you’ve rolled your eyes at a stranger today. This 136-page humor book captures the absurdity of human incompetence in pure, relatable spite, making it the perfect gift for your most judgmental friend.

Ex-Wife's Wedding Dress Book

Hardcover blue book featuring a person in a white wedding dress on a rustic wooden surface.

101 Uses for My Ex-Wife's Wedding Dress is the petty masterpiece your bookshelf is missing. This hilarious guide turns matrimonial wreckage into practical household items, making it the perfect gift for anyone who wants to handle a messy breakup with maximum creative spite.

Spare Time Money Book

Bright orange book cover showing a shadowy figure and the title "How to Make Money in Your Spare Time.

When your friend complains about their 9-to-5 again, hand them "How to Make Money in Your Spare Time." This satirical guide offers hilarious, useless side hustle ideas for anyone who wants to turn their leisure time into a fortune without actually trying.

$9ishWANT IT

Crap Taxidermy Book

Hardcover Crap Taxidermy book with a humorous illustration of a fox standing on a wooden stand.

Your coffee table deserves the chaotic energy of Crap Taxidermy, a book dedicated to the glorious failures of preservation. From "Dieting Foxes" to "Tabby Gymnastics," these cursed images prove that sometimes, the only thing better than a preserved animal is a really messed-up one.

$9ishWANT IT

Traumatize Your Children Book

Humorous parenting book cover featuring a cartoon child and the title How to Traumatize Your Children.

Secure your legacy as a parental disaster with the "How to Traumatize Your Children" book. This witty guide offers seven proven methods to screw up your kids with skill and humor, making it the perfect gift for parents who want to be their wittiest, most chaotic selves.

$8ishWANT IT

Gangsta Rap Coloring Book

Red coloring book cover with a detailed illustration of a stylized gun and bold text.

Finally, a way to channel your inner menace while practicing mindfulness. The Gangsta Rap Coloring Book lets you unleash your street cred one crayon stroke at a time, making it the ultimate activity for when you need to be aggressively artistic without actually breaking any laws.

$10ishWANT IT

The Geek's Guide to Dating

Pixel art cover of a book titled The Geek's Guide to Dating, featuring retro gaming characters and hearts.

When your social battery is at 2% but you still want to find a partner who appreciates your obscure hobbies. The Geek's Guide to Dating provides a hilarious, illustrated roadmap for navigating romance without losing your dignity or your precious sanity.

$14ishWANT IT

Illegal Food War Stories

Illustrated book cover showing a whimsical farm scene with a tank, red barn, and bright sun.

Finally, a way to feel like a culinary outlaw without actually getting arrested. This 352-page paperback chronicles the hilarious, high-stakes battles of sustainable agriculture, turning your backyard garden into a tactical front in a local food war.

$15ishWANT IT