Why I Want It

Other gloriously useless things you definitely need:

Indestructible Herding Ball

Large red plastic dog ball with white and yellow lettering, labeled "Virtually Indestructible.

Finally, a ball your dog isn't allowed to chew, catch, or fetch. The Doggie Dooley Virtually Indestructible Dog Ball is a 10-inch hard plastic boulder designed strictly for herding and push-play. It’s the perfect way to channel your dog’s inner bulldozer without destroying your actual furniture.

$29ishWANT IT

Chocolate Donut Pool Float

Oversized brown donut pool float covered in colorful sprinkles floating in a blue swimming pool.

Nothing says "I’ve completely lost my grip on reality" like lounging in a four-foot chocolate donut. This oversized vinyl float features a convenient pre-taken bite, making you the most delicious—and least edible—person at the pool party while providing a patch kit for your inevitable mid-summer mishaps.

$16ishWANT IT

6-Person Floating Island

Large inflatable white and blue floating island lounge with a blue sunshade canopy on clear water

Why settle for a pathetic pool noodle when you can own a literal floating island for your entire friend group? This massive 6-person lounge features a built-in cooler, cup holders, and a detachable sunshade, ensuring you stay hydrated and shaded while drifting into a state of pure, unadulterated lake-day bliss.

$189ishWANT IT

Cast Away Movie Volleyball

White Cast Away movie replica volleyball featuring Wilson branding on beach sand.

The Wilson Cast Away Volleyball is the only friend who won't judge your life choices or demand snacks. This official movie replica features a durable synthetic cover and pro-level weight, making it the perfect companion for beach games or your inevitable, very lonely desert island retreat.

$19ishWANT IT

Whiskey Sphere Ice Molds

Clear sphere ice mold next to a glass of amber whiskey featuring a large, perfectly formed ice ball.

You can now own a dedicated mold that produces massive ice spheres specifically designed to keep your whiskey from melting into a watery disappointment. These Tovolo Sphere Ice Molds are stackable, leak-proof, and perfect for anyone who wants their home bar to feel slightly more pretentious and much cooler.

$9ishWANT IT

Reclining Pool Lounger

Bright blue inflatable pool lounger with an adjustable backrest floating in a clear swimming pool.

Why settle for a basic floatie when you can have a fully reclining pool couch for two? This oversized inflatable lounger features an adjustable backrest and dual cupholders, perfect for those who refuse to compromise on lumbar support while drifting aimlessly in the deep end.

$81ishWANT IT

Inflatable Jousting Logs

A smiling boy in a swimming pool interacting with large inflatable jousting logs.

Turn your backyard pool into a medieval battlefield with these Inflatable Jousting Logs. Balance on vinyl logs and swing boppers to knock your friends into the deep end, settling petty grievances with a high-energy, splashy showdown of oddly specific, water-based violence.

$26ishWANT IT

Glow Capture the Flag

Capture the Flag Redux game box showing players in a glowing outdoor battlefield.

Your backyard is about to become a radioactive neon war zone. Redux turns night into a high-stakes, glowing battlefield where stealth is mandatory, giving you the perfect excuse to sprint like a ninja and ruin your friends' night in the most luminous way possible.

$59ishWANT IT

Floating Beanbag Chair

Oversized blue pool float beanbag chair resting in clear swimming pool water.

Achieve peak aquatic laziness by turning your pool into a literal lounge. The King Kai Adult Pool Float is a bead-filled beanbag that molds to your body, providing resort-level comfort for anyone who wants to drift away from their responsibilities like a majestic, floating potato.

$384ishWANT IT

Nibble-To-Brush Sticks

Natural miswak sticks and their red branded box resting on a white marble surface.

Nibble-To-Brush Sticks are for people who want to achieve dental hygiene by basically eating their toothbrush. Just peel the bark, nibble it into bristles, and enjoy a chemical-free clean that makes you look like a very sophisticated, very hygienic forest hermit who takes oral care seriously.

$14ishWANT IT

Kangaroo Pocket Dog Hoodie

Dark dog wearing a vibrant red hoodie featuring a kangaroo pocket, sitting on a rug.

Give your dog peak main character energy with this tomato red hoodie featuring a functional kangaroo pocket. It is the ultimate way to achieve that tiny human aesthetic, ensuring your pup looks like a stylish, slightly confused person who is prepared for absolutely nothing but maximum cozy vibes.

Rainbow Prism Suncatcher

Hanging circular rainbow prism suncatcher projecting a vivid spectrum of light onto a window wall.

Turn your boring apartment into a psychedelic light show without the actual rave. This Rainbow Prism Suncatcher catches direct sunlight to project stunning rainbows across your walls, making your space look like a high-end spa or a very aesthetic physics experiment.

$21ishWANT IT