Why I Want It

Other gloriously useless things you definitely need:

Monochrome Paper Straws

Clear glass holding iced dark drink with a patterned black and white paper straw on a wooden table.

Finally, you can save the planet while looking like a moody minimalist at your next picnic. These Kikkerland Paper Straws provide a chic, black and white alternative to plastic that makes every sip feel like a high-fashion editorial. They are biodegradable, compostable, and way cooler than your neighbor's boring straws.

$50ishWANT IT

Lazy Neck Phone Holder

Flexible purple neck phone holder with black strap holding a smartphone on a wooden surface.

Achieve peak laziness by wearing your phone like a high-tech necklace with this Lazy Neck Phone Holder. It offers 360-degree rotation for hands-free scrolling while you cook, gym, or rot on the sofa, making it the ultimate accessory for anyone whose thumb is tired of doing all the heavy lifting.

$8ishWANT IT

Lord of the Rings One Ring

Gold-plated One Ring replica pendant featuring engraved details on a chain.

Finally, you can rule them all without the inconvenient burden of actually being a Dark Lord. This gold-plated One Ring features laser-engraved Black Speech on both sides and comes in a velvet-lined wooden box. It’s the perfect way to embrace your inner Sauron while remaining conveniently mortal.

$159ishWANT IT

Ultra-Portable Sleeping Bag

Blue ultra-portable sleeping bag compressed and secured with tan webbing straps on a wooden surface

This is a sleeping bag specifically designed for warm weather, because apparently, some of us aren't ready for the "arctic tundra" aesthetic. It compresses into a tiny 11-inch pouch, allowing you to transport your portable nap-pod with the stealth of a ninja who really enjoys a good night's rest.

$22ishWANT IT

Cassette Tape Phone Case

Red silicone phone case featuring a detailed retro cassette tape design.

This red silicone Cassette Tape Phone Case turns your iPhone 4 into a nostalgic mixtape for your pocket. It provides a grippy, retro aesthetic that shields your frame from scratches while making your tech look like a curated relic from a much cooler decade.

$1ishWANT IT

$100 Bill Toilet Paper

Toilet paper roll printed with a realistic hundred dollar bill design on a bathroom holder.

Live like the filthy-rich with this $100 bill toilet paper without the crushing guilt of actually spending your life savings on hygiene. This 3-ply roll features a realistic design printed throughout every sheet, making it the ultimate gag gift for the friend who has everything but a sense of financial responsibility.

Toilet Paper Spitball Blaster

Backyard toy blaster featuring a toilet paper roll and clear firing cup on a wooden surface

The Toilet Paper Blaster is the ultimate "why does this exist" solution for your next backyard skirmish. It transforms regular rolls into clean, bio-degradable spitballs that fly up to 30 feet, letting you wage a high-stakes war without the gross factor of actual saliva.

$89ishWANT IT

Tiny Wireless Computer

Compact green single board computer featuring multiple GPIO pins and connectors.

The Raspberry Pi Zero W is a computer so small it practically hides in your pocket. It’s the perfect tiny brain for your DIY chaos, whether you’re building a smart mirror or just want to feel like a tech wizard while making your fridge sentient.

$24ishWANT IT

Instant Pop Up Tent

Blue dome tent with mesh panels set up on a sunny green lawn.

This tent pops up in a single second, because apparently, wrestling with fiberglass poles is for people with far too much patience. It folds into a 30-inch dish, providing a waterproof, six-person fortress for anyone who wants to be "outdoorsy" without actually doing any of the work.

$74ishWANT IT

Scarface Garden Gnome

Garden gnome statue with a pistol and a base reading "Say hello to my little friend.

Give your backyard the ultimate 1980s Miami makeover with a lawn ornament that actually has a "no trespassing" policy. This Scarface Garden Gnome stands guard as a weather-resistant home defender, looking ridiculously intimidating to the neighbors while providing the perfect amount of gritty, garden-variety chaos.

$26ishWANT IT

Cheeseburger Phone

Novelty cheeseburger shaped corded landline phone held up by a smiling woman.

Technically, this is a cheeseburger phone, not a hamburger phone, which is a distinction that matters deeply to your aesthetic. This molded plastic landline features a redial function and a tone/pulse switch, ensuring your neighbors know you’ve officially reached the final boss of weird home decor.

$19ishWANT IT

Out Of This World Plates

Box and stack of colorful watercolor plates featuring the solar system design.

These watercolor planet plates turn your mundane snacks into a celestial event for the intellectually curious. Serve your hors d'oeuvres on a literal portrait of the solar system and let your guests know your cheese board is officially out of this world.

$29ishWANT IT