Why I Want It

Other gloriously useless things you definitely need:

Cheeseburger Phone

Novelty cheeseburger shaped corded landline phone held up by a smiling woman.

Technically, this is a cheeseburger phone, not a hamburger phone, which is a distinction that matters deeply to your aesthetic. This molded plastic landline features a redial function and a tone/pulse switch, ensuring your neighbors know you’ve officially reached the final boss of weird home decor.

$19ishWANT IT

Lazy Neck Phone Holder

Flexible purple neck phone holder with black strap holding a smartphone on a wooden surface.

Achieve peak laziness by wearing your phone like a high-tech necklace with this Lazy Neck Phone Holder. It offers 360-degree rotation for hands-free scrolling while you cook, gym, or rot on the sofa, making it the ultimate accessory for anyone whose thumb is tired of doing all the heavy lifting.

$8ishWANT IT

Astronaut Phone Stand

White astronaut figurine holding a smartphone next to a modern angled phone stand on a wooden desk

This resin astronaut is ready to shoulder the crushing weight of your digital life on its back. It transforms your smartphone into a weary space traveler, adding a touch of absurd heroism to your desk. It’s the kind of weirdly specific decor that makes your friends ask, "Why do you need that?"

$20ishWANT IT

Pro Tech Repair Kit

iFixit Pro Tech Toolkit - Electronics, Smartphone, Computer & Tablet Repair Kit

Stop letting a shattered screen ruin your aesthetic and start your journey toward becoming a backyard electronics surgeon. The iFixit Pro Tech Toolkit provides 64 precision bits and specialized prying tools, giving you the god-like power to repair your own tech while looking suspiciously like a professional.

$27ishWANT IT

Paper-Thin Solar Charger

Foldable solar charger with gold-plated panels displayed open on a light wooden table.

This Solar Paper is so ridiculously thin you’ll almost forget it’s a high-efficiency charger until your phone miraculously springs back to life. Featuring gold-plated panels and magnetic expansion, it’s the ultimate "I’m a tech-wizard" flex for anyone who wants to harvest sun juice while looking effortlessly cool.

$148ishWANT IT

Portable Gaming Pod

Black rugged portable gaming pod with a glowing blue screen and shoulder strap.

Why would you need a GAEMS Vanguard, a literal portable gaming room with its own screen and speakers? It turns any airport layover into a private sanctuary, featuring a rugged shell and shoulder strap for the ultimate "I refuse to stop playing" energy.

$380ishWANT IT

"Contents My Face" Cosmetic Bag

Vibrant pink zippered cosmetic bag with "Contents: my face" text on a light wood surface.

This hot pink bag literally contains your face. The "Contents My Face" cosmetic case is a hilariously honest way to organize your beauty essentials while acknowledging that your face is basically a chaotic construction site of products—the ultimate gift for the friend who treats their skincare like a high-stakes science experiment.

$33ishWANT IT

Wooden Stripe Laptop Skin

Laptop skin featuring weathered horizontal wood grain stripes in rustic tones on a laptop.

You can now trick everyone into thinking your MacBook is a vintage piece of timber. This ultra-thin vinyl skin provides scratch-resistant protection while satisfying your inexplicable urge to turn your high-tech workspace into a cozy, rustic cabin without actually having to chop down any trees.

$24ishWANT IT

Kangaroo Pocket Dog Hoodie

Dark dog wearing a vibrant red hoodie featuring a kangaroo pocket, sitting on a rug.

Give your dog peak main character energy with this tomato red hoodie featuring a functional kangaroo pocket. It is the ultimate way to achieve that tiny human aesthetic, ensuring your pup looks like a stylish, slightly confused person who is prepared for absolutely nothing but maximum cozy vibes.

Vintage Squirrel Cage Bulb

Warmly glowing vintage Edison bulb featuring a visible squirrel cage filament design.

A literal wreath of filament wrapped around the glass, the Vintage Squirrel Cage Bulb looks like a tiny, glowing cage for your electricity. It delivers that perfect "haunted laboratory" aesthetic for your chandelier, making your living room look like a chic, slightly unsettling 1905 asylum.

$13ishWANT IT

Tiny Wireless Computer

Compact green single board computer featuring multiple GPIO pins and connectors.

The Raspberry Pi Zero W is a computer so small it practically hides in your pocket. It’s the perfect tiny brain for your DIY chaos, whether you’re building a smart mirror or just want to feel like a tech wizard while making your fridge sentient.

$24ishWANT IT

Whiskey Sphere Ice Molds

Clear sphere ice mold next to a glass of amber whiskey featuring a large, perfectly formed ice ball.

You can now own a dedicated mold that produces massive ice spheres specifically designed to keep your whiskey from melting into a watery disappointment. These Tovolo Sphere Ice Molds are stackable, leak-proof, and perfect for anyone who wants their home bar to feel slightly more pretentious and much cooler.

$9ishWANT IT