Why I Want It

Other gloriously useless things you definitely need:

Shower Curtain With Pockets

Clear shower curtain with integrated mesh pockets for holding shampoo and bath supplies.

Finally, you can treat your shower like a tactical gear haul. This liner features nine mesh pockets to hold your shampoo, razors, and bath toys, keeping your floor clear of slippery clutter. It’s the oddly specific, slightly ridiculous organizational upgrade your bathroom desperately needs to achieve peak efficiency.

$11ishWANT IT

Car French Fry Holder

Red car french fry holder inserted into a cup holder, filled with golden fries.

Imagine navigating a drive-thru without the frantic struggle of balancing soggy fries and dipping sauce on your lap. This car french fry holder snaps into your cup holder to keep your snacks steady, providing a weirdly specific solution for your messy, nugget-obsessed commute.

$9ishWANT IT

Creepy Window Peeper

Creepy pale peeping tom figure wearing a black hood, positioned against a window.

Give your neighbors a reason to call for help with this Peeping Tom. It’s the ultimate way to ensure no one feels safe in their own home this Halloween, featuring a ghoulish face and a heavy-duty suction cup for maximum, unblinking creepiness.

$42ishWANT IT

Lazy Neck Phone Holder

Flexible purple neck phone holder with black strap holding a smartphone on a wooden surface.

Achieve peak laziness by wearing your phone like a high-tech necklace with this Lazy Neck Phone Holder. It offers 360-degree rotation for hands-free scrolling while you cook, gym, or rot on the sofa, making it the ultimate accessory for anyone whose thumb is tired of doing all the heavy lifting.

$8ishWANT IT

Knight Egg Holder

Medieval knight egg holder in gray armor, featuring a red crest and a matching spoon.

Your breakfast deserves a level of protection that only medieval chivalry can provide. This Knight Egg Holder keeps your hard-boiled egg safe in shining armor with a matching spoon, because your morning meal needs a security detail that is both completely absurd and deeply satisfying.

$11ishWANT IT

Dump a Trump Pen Holder

Donald Trump Pen Holder. Satirical resin figurine of a man in a red cap and blue suit posed on a black desk base.

Finally, a way to literally dump a Trump on your desk while keeping your pens organized. This heavy-duty, hand-painted resin holder doubles as a paperweight, making it the ultimate satirical gag gift for anyone who wants their office supplies to have a personality.

$19ishWANT IT

Upside Down Wine Glass

Clear glass wine goblet inverted on a light wood dining table surface.

Prepare to watch your friends' faces melt into pure confusion as your wine appears to be suspended in mid-air. These Upside Down Wine Glasses offer a 375ml capacity for those who want to drink while actively gaslighting their guests about the laws of physics. It’s delightfully unnecessary.

$64ishWANT IT

Prescription Pint Glass

Amber beer in a pint glass decorated with a humorous prescription label design.

Treat your nightly "medication" with the clinical respect it deserves. This extra-thick Prescription Pint Glass holds 16 ounces of your favorite liquid relief in a heavy-duty, dishwasher-safe frame. It’s the perfect way to turn a casual beer into a mandatory, high-priority medical procedure.

$14ishWANT IT

60-Second Drink Chiller

Black countertop drink chiller with clear lid holding a can and ice cubes.

The Chill-O-Matic is essentially a centrifuge for your thirst, spinning a room-temperature can into an ice-cold beverage in just 60 seconds. It’s 240 times faster than a fridge and perfect for anyone who treats waiting as a personal insult or a crime against humanity.

$29ishWANT IT

Mushroom Drain Catcher

Blue mushroom and circular silicone drain catchers designed to prevent hair clogs in bathtubs.

The TubShroom is a tiny, blue silicone mushroom that lives exclusively inside your bathtub drain. It captures every strand of human and pet hair before it can stage a plumbing coup, turning a disgusting clog into a simple, satisfying wipe-and-rinse situation.

$12ishWANT IT

Luchador Bottle Opener

Red luchador wrestler bottle opener being used on a bright green glass bottle.

A tiny wrestler is currently holding your beer hostage in a brutal lock hold. This Luchador Bottle Opener turns every drink into a high-stakes championship match, using stainless steel and rubberized coating to ensure your beverage is liberated with maximum drama and zero dignity.

$9ishWANT IT

Bathtub Planetarium

White bowl device projecting a bright, swirling starry night sky inside a clear glass dome.

Give your toddler a front-row seat to the cosmos with the Homestar Aqua Planetarium. It’s the ultimate "why does this exist" purchase that turns a mundane bath into a space odyssey, making you look like a whimsical parent who definitely has their life together.

$110ishWANT IT