Why I Want It

Other gloriously useless things you definitely need:

Fake Pet Sweep Box

Large Pet Sweep box featuring a dog graphic, next to a person wearing red fuzzy animal boots.

Be the absolute menace of your next White Elephant party with the Prank-O Pet Sweep. This comically realistic box tricks everyone into thinking you bought a bizarre floor-cleaning gadget, only to reveal their actual gift hidden inside for a perfect, laughter-inducing double-take.

$7ishWANT IT

Toilet Shaped Coffee Mug

White ceramic toilet mug holding coffee, featuring a detailed porcelain tank design.

Nothing says "I've officially lost it" quite like sipping your morning coffee out of a literal ceramic toilet. This 12-ounce mug is the perfect way to flush away boredom and confuse your coworkers while you enjoy your favorite brew from the porcelain throne.

$15ishWANT IT

Motion Sensing Boo Light

White Boo ghost motion sensor night light with a wide smile on a wooden nightstand.

This glowing Boo ghost is the only roommate who actually hides when you look at it. This motion-sensing night light captures that iconic "shy" energy, illuminating your room the second you move. It’s the perfect way to let your friends know your haunting is strictly aesthetic.

$36ishWANT IT

The Gift of Nothing

Clear rectangular storage box with bold black text reading "You Said You Wanted Nothing.

Finally, you can fulfill their impossible request for absolutely nothing without feeling like a total failure. This clear box provides an endless supply of nothing, making it the perfect gluten-free prank for the person who already owns everything and deserves a literal masterpiece of uselessness.

$9ishWANT IT

Middle Finger Mug

White mug with coffee revealing a hidden 3D middle finger gesture at the bottom.

Finally, a way to tell your boss exactly what you think without actually getting fired. This Middle Finger Mug looks perfectly innocent until your coworker finishes their coffee and discovers the hidden 3D gesture at the bottom. It’s the ultimate "up yours" for your daily caffeine fix.

$14ishWANT IT

$100 Bill Toilet Paper

Toilet paper roll printed with a realistic hundred dollar bill design on a bathroom holder.

Live like the filthy-rich with this $100 bill toilet paper without the crushing guilt of actually spending your life savings on hygiene. This 3-ply roll features a realistic design printed throughout every sheet, making it the ultimate gag gift for the friend who has everything but a sense of financial responsibility.

Toilet Monster Decal

Cartoon monster face decal sticker placed on the front of a white toilet tank.

Turn potty training into a high-stakes game of target practice with this Toilet Monster Decal. This waterproof vinyl sticker turns your toilet into a bullseye, making the most mundane part of your toddler's day feel like a weirdly intense, oddly satisfying sport.

$7ishWANT IT

Rearview Spy Sunglasses

Dark framed spy sunglasses with purple tinted lenses on a light wooden table.

You can finally monitor your stalkers without the social suicide of actually turning around. These Rearview Spy Sunglasses let you see exactly what’s happening behind you, making them the ultimate gag for the paranoid, the practical joker, or anyone who wants to feel like a low-budget secret agent.

$7ishWANT IT

Can of Whoop-Ass

Cylindrical metal can of Whoop-Ass featuring a graphic of a clenched fist breaking out.

Give your most aggressive friend a Can of Whoop-Ass to keep them humble. This absurdly specific gag gift contains a generous serving of compost, making it the perfect "why does this exist" purchase for the hothead who needs a reality check.

$8ishWANT IT

Dump a Trump Pen Holder

Donald Trump Pen Holder. Satirical resin figurine of a man in a red cap and blue suit posed on a black desk base.

Finally, a way to literally dump a Trump on your desk while keeping your pens organized. This heavy-duty, hand-painted resin holder doubles as a paperweight, making it the ultimate satirical gag gift for anyone who wants their office supplies to have a personality.

$19ishWANT IT

"Objects in Mirror" Sticker

Sunset view reflected in a car mirror with a humorous Objects in Mirror are Losing decal

Finally, a way to let everyone behind you know exactly where they stand in the hierarchy of the highway. These "Objects in Mirror are Losing" decals turn your rearview into a scoreboard of petty dominance for every driver trailing behind you.

$2ishWANT IT

Minecraft Wall Clings

Minecraft themed wall decals showing Steve in a cavern and a pig in a wooden mine.

Your room is clearly lacking enough blocky drama, so you need these Minecraft wall clings. These movable vinyl decals let you position Steve and a pink pig perfectly, because your wall desperately needs a high-stakes mining operation for your personal aesthetic.

$29ishWANT IT