Why I Want It

Other gloriously useless things you definitely need:

Minecraft Wall Clings

Minecraft themed wall decals showing Steve in a cavern and a pig in a wooden mine.

Your room is clearly lacking enough blocky drama, so you need these Minecraft wall clings. These movable vinyl decals let you position Steve and a pink pig perfectly, because your wall desperately needs a high-stakes mining operation for your personal aesthetic.

$29ishWANT IT

$100 Bill Toilet Paper

Toilet paper roll printed with a realistic hundred dollar bill design on a bathroom holder.

Live like the filthy-rich with this $100 bill toilet paper without the crushing guilt of actually spending your life savings on hygiene. This 3-ply roll features a realistic design printed throughout every sheet, making it the ultimate gag gift for the friend who has everything but a sense of financial responsibility.

"How's My Driving?" Sticker

Black and white "How's My Driving?" sticker applied to a car's rear bumper.

The "How's My Driving?" sticker is the ultimate passive-aggressive masterpiece for your rear bumper. It’s the perfect way to invite judgment from every frustrated driver behind you while you confidently ignore their opinions in durable, weather-resistant vinyl that survives even your most questionable road etiquette.

$4ishWANT IT

"Objects in Mirror" Sticker

Sunset view reflected in a car mirror with a humorous Objects in Mirror are Losing decal

Finally, a way to let everyone behind you know exactly where they stand in the hierarchy of the highway. These "Objects in Mirror are Losing" decals turn your rearview into a scoreboard of petty dominance for every driver trailing behind you.

$2ishWANT IT

Toilet Paper Spitball Blaster

Backyard toy blaster featuring a toilet paper roll and clear firing cup on a wooden surface

The Toilet Paper Blaster is the ultimate "why does this exist" solution for your next backyard skirmish. It transforms regular rolls into clean, bio-degradable spitballs that fly up to 30 feet, letting you wage a high-stakes war without the gross factor of actual saliva.

$89ishWANT IT

Toilet Shaped Coffee Mug

White ceramic toilet mug holding coffee, featuring a detailed porcelain tank design.

Nothing says "I've officially lost it" quite like sipping your morning coffee out of a literal ceramic toilet. This 12-ounce mug is the perfect way to flush away boredom and confuse your coworkers while you enjoy your favorite brew from the porcelain throne.

$15ishWANT IT

Bathtub Planetarium

White bowl device projecting a bright, swirling starry night sky inside a clear glass dome.

Give your toddler a front-row seat to the cosmos with the Homestar Aqua Planetarium. It’s the ultimate "why does this exist" purchase that turns a mundane bath into a space odyssey, making you look like a whimsical parent who definitely has their life together.

$110ishWANT IT

Voice & Motion Prank Stickers

Stack of blue voice and motion activated prank decals on a light wooden surface.

Nothing says "I love you" like watching your coworkers scream at a toaster until they turn red. These Voice & Motion Prank Stickers are the ultimate way to make smart people look like absolute idiots. Stick these 50 realistic decals on anything and enjoy the pure joy of public embarrassment.

$8ishWANT IT

Sound Activated Car Sticker

Car rear window featuring a glowing graphic equalizer LED sticker in blue and green.

Turn your car into a neon rave with this Sound Activated Car Sticker. This thin, waterproof strip features a built-in graphic equalizer that dances to your music, flashing blue lights to ensure you look cool while being dangerously visible at night. It's basically a rave for your rear window.

$34ishWANT IT

Wooden Stripe Laptop Skin

Laptop skin featuring weathered horizontal wood grain stripes in rustic tones on a laptop.

You can now trick everyone into thinking your MacBook is a vintage piece of timber. This ultra-thin vinyl skin provides scratch-resistant protection while satisfying your inexplicable urge to turn your high-tech workspace into a cozy, rustic cabin without actually having to chop down any trees.

$24ishWANT IT

SEAL Survival Skills Book

Survival skills guide book cover featuring tactical illustrations of military evasion and capture avoidance.

100 Deadly Skills is the ultimate manual for anyone who wants to evade capture and survive dangerous situations like a literal SEAL operative. It’s the perfect guide for turning your mundane backyard into a high-stakes espionage training ground without actually getting arrested.

$11ishWANT IT

Wobbling Chess Set

Wooden wobbling chess set with wiggling pieces arranged on a checkered wooden board.

Finally, a way to play chess while your pieces are clearly having a mid-life crisis. This prize-winning set features a concave board and weighted pieces that wiggle and dance but refuse to fall off, making every move feel like a high-stakes, drunken masterpiece of strategy.

$289ishWANT IT