Why I Want It

Other gloriously useless things you definitely need:

Fifty Shades of Chicken

Hardcover cookbook cover showing a perfectly roasted golden chicken on a white plate.

Spice up your kitchen with the delicious, feathered deviance of Fifty Shades of Chicken. This parody cookbook swaps spicy romance for "Mustard-Spanked Chicken" and "Dripping Thighs," making it the perfect gag gift for anyone who wants their poultry prep to be slightly more scandalous.

$10ishWANT IT

The Hungover Cookbook

Bright mustard yellow cookbook cover titled The Hungover Cookbook with a small illustration.

When your head feels like a construction site and your stomach is staging a protest, The Hungover Cookbook is your only friend. This hilarious guide offers the perfect culinary roadmap for navigating the morning after without making your internal organs regret your questionable life choices.

Baking Bad Parody Cookbook

Green parody cookbook cover featuring a cupcake with blue frosting and dramatic smoke.

Give your favorite chemistry-obsessed home baker the ultimate gift with the Baking Bad parody cookbook. It’s the perfect way to cook up some "product" while keeping the neighbors from calling the authorities on your kitchen's suspiciously delicious activity, all while staying strictly within the legal limits of pastry.

$20ishWANT IT

Game of Thrones Cookbook

Game of Thrones cookbook featuring a feast of medieval food and dramatic table setting.

This Game of Thrones cookbook is the ultimate gift for the friend who treats every meal like a high-stakes political maneuver. Featuring over 100 recipes and a George R. R. Martin introduction, it ensures your next dinner party feels appropriately dramatic, delicious, and just slightly threatening.

$25ishWANT IT

Thug Kitchen Cookbook

Thug Kitchen cookbook cover displaying colorful, spicy tacos and bold black typography.

The Thug Kitchen Cookbook is the ultimate culinary manifesto for anyone who wants to eat vegan while giving absolutely zero f*cks. It swaps boring health food for spicy pickled carrots and tortas, proving you can be plant-based without losing your edge or your attitude.

$16ishWANT IT

Harry Potter Cookbook

Unofficial Harry Potter Cookbook with dark purple cover and gold lettering for magical recipes.

The Unofficial Harry Potter Cookbook contains over 150 magical recipes for people who lack the actual magic to cast them. From Cauldron Cakes to Knickerbocker Glory, it’s the perfect way to bring a touch of Hogwarts to your kitchen without the risk of a literal explosion.

$9ishWANT IT

Traumatize Your Children Book

Humorous parenting book cover featuring a cartoon child and the title How to Traumatize Your Children.

Secure your legacy as a parental disaster with the "How to Traumatize Your Children" book. This witty guide offers seven proven methods to screw up your kids with skill and humor, making it the perfect gift for parents who want to be their wittiest, most chaotic selves.

$8ishWANT IT

How Not to Kill Your Baby

Humorous parenting guide book titled How Not to Kill Your Baby featuring a teddy bear and a wild bear.

There is a book dedicated to ensuring you don't accidentally kill your baby. How Not to Kill Your Baby is the ultimate survival guide for new parents who need a laugh while navigating the terrifying, sleep-deprived chaos of raising a tiny human without causing a catastrophe.

Images You Should Not Masturbate To

Book cover for Images You Should Not Masturbate To showing a man holding an axe.

Gift your most unhinged friend a copy of Images You Should Not Masturbate To for their next birthday. This 80-page collection of mood-killing illustrations is the perfect way to ruin a vibe while proving you have impeccable, albeit deeply concerning, taste in humor.

$12ishWANT IT

Gallows Humor Book

Gallows Humor Book

Finally, a way to admit you’re done with everyone without actually having to say it out loud. All My Friends Are Dead is a satirical hardcover packed with puns and comic strips for the socially exhausted who are tired of pretending they still have a social life.

$7ishWANT IT

Idiots Are Everywhere Book

Hand holding bread near a book cover featuring a humorous wildlife warning sign in a grassy setting.

Idiots Are Everywhere is the literary validation you need for every time you’ve rolled your eyes at a stranger today. This 136-page humor book captures the absurdity of human incompetence in pure, relatable spite, making it the perfect gift for your most judgmental friend.

Alphabet of Terrible Advice

Alphabet of Terrible Advice

Finally, a way to ruin your life with actual style and literary flair. K is for Knifeball provides 80 pages of hilarious limericks and parody advice that are perfectly useless for anyone trying to be a functional human being, making it the ultimate chaotic gift.

$6ishWANT IT