Why I Want It

Other gloriously useless things you definitely need:

Dapper Dog Neckties

Assortment of colorful patterned dog neckties, including stripes and polka dots, on a wooden surface.

Your dog is officially more dressed for success than you are with this 10-pack of dapper neckties. These adjustable bow ties turn every walk into a high-stakes corporate board meeting, ensuring your pup is the best-dressed employee in the entire neighborhood.

$13ishWANT IT

Kangaroo Pocket Dog Hoodie

Dark dog wearing a vibrant red hoodie featuring a kangaroo pocket, sitting on a rug.

Give your dog peak main character energy with this tomato red hoodie featuring a functional kangaroo pocket. It is the ultimate way to achieve that tiny human aesthetic, ensuring your pup looks like a stylish, slightly confused person who is prepared for absolutely nothing but maximum cozy vibes.

Lion Mane Cat Hat

Fluffy orange cat wearing a lion mane hat, lounging comfortably on a neutral sofa.

This faux-fur Lion Mane Cat Hat transforms your judgmental house cat into the majestic, slightly terrifying king of the jungle. It’s the ultimate way to acknowledge their rightful status as ruler of the home, even if they’re clearly plotting your demise from their new, fluffy throne.

$6ishWANT IT

Star Wars Saga Monopoly

Star Wars Saga Edition Monopoly board game featuring classic characters like Luke and Vader.

The Star Wars Saga Edition Monopoly allows you to experience the crushing weight of capitalism through the lens of a galaxy far, far away. Trade settlements like a Sith Lord and use the Force to bankrupt your friends while navigating a board game that is unnecessarily, beautifully extra.

$89ishWANT IT

Millennium Falcon Sunshade

Star Wars Millennium Falcon sunshade covering the windshield of a parked car.

Upgrade your car from "basic sedan" to "intergalactic smuggler" with this Millennium Falcon sunshade. It blocks UV rays using reversible bubble insulation while turning your windshield into a full-blown cockpit. It folds up like an accordion, because even the fastest ships in the galaxy need to be easy to store.

$18ishWANT IT

Batman Wearable Blanket

Man modeling a grey and black Batman wearable blanket featuring a bat symbol and sleeves.

Become the caped crusader of couch comfort with this Batman wearable blanket. It features sleeves so you can fight crime—or just reach for the remote—while staying perfectly snug in officially licensed, silky-smooth fleece. It’s basically a superhero costume for people who have officially retired from cardio.

$29ishWANT IT

Color-Coded Dog Harness

Dark dog sitting on green grass wearing a bright green harness labeled Friendly.

Finally, a way to prove your dog isn't a secret assassin to every terrified stranger in the park. This Friendly Green Dog Harness uses color-coded embroidery to broadcast your pup's "good vibes," preventing awkward confrontations and ensuring your furry friend remains the neighborhood's most socially acceptable resident.

$24ishWANT IT

Chocolate Donut Pool Float

Oversized brown donut pool float covered in colorful sprinkles floating in a blue swimming pool.

Nothing says "I’ve completely lost my grip on reality" like lounging in a four-foot chocolate donut. This oversized vinyl float features a convenient pre-taken bite, making you the most delicious—and least edible—person at the pool party while providing a patch kit for your inevitable mid-summer mishaps.

$16ishWANT IT

Faceless Tuxedo Morphsuit

Black faceless tuxedo morphsuit costume displayed on a white mannequin in a modern hallway.

The faceless tuxedo morphsuit is the ultimate way to attend a gala while simultaneously haunting the buffet table. You get the class of a formal suit paired with the unsettling vibe of a Victorian ghost who lost his head.

$44ishWANT IT

Flip-Action Dog Water Bottle

Set of four portable dog water bottles in pink, yellow, green, and blue hues.

When your dog starts judging your lack of outdoor supplies, just flick your wrist. This Gulpy flip-action bottle dispenses water with a dramatic flourish, featuring a belt clip so you can look like a high-tech pet butler while keeping your best friend hydrated on the go.

$9ishWANT IT

One-Handed Dog Water Bottle

Bright blue dog water bottle with a black feeding bowl and adjustable strap for hiking.

When you're hiking, stop making your dog drink from a public bowl filled with mystery pathogens. The AutoDogMug lets you squeeze out a drink with one hand and drain the excess back into the bottle, making you the most prepared—and slightly obsessed—hydration butler for your furry best friend.

$20ishWANT IT

Toilet Shaped Coffee Mug

White ceramic toilet mug holding coffee, featuring a detailed porcelain tank design.

Nothing says "I've officially lost it" quite like sipping your morning coffee out of a literal ceramic toilet. This 12-ounce mug is the perfect way to flush away boredom and confuse your coworkers while you enjoy your favorite brew from the porcelain throne.

$15ishWANT IT