Why I Want It

Other gloriously useless things you definitely need:

Chocolate Donut Pool Float

Oversized brown donut pool float covered in colorful sprinkles floating in a blue swimming pool.

Nothing says "I’ve completely lost my grip on reality" like lounging in a four-foot chocolate donut. This oversized vinyl float features a convenient pre-taken bite, making you the most delicious—and least edible—person at the pool party while providing a patch kit for your inevitable mid-summer mishaps.

$16ishWANT IT

Floating Beanbag Chair

Oversized blue pool float beanbag chair resting in clear swimming pool water.

Achieve peak aquatic laziness by turning your pool into a literal lounge. The King Kai Adult Pool Float is a bead-filled beanbag that molds to your body, providing resort-level comfort for anyone who wants to drift away from their responsibilities like a majestic, floating potato.

$384ishWANT IT

Reclining Pool Lounger

Bright blue inflatable pool lounger with an adjustable backrest floating in a clear swimming pool.

Why settle for a basic floatie when you can have a fully reclining pool couch for two? This oversized inflatable lounger features an adjustable backrest and dual cupholders, perfect for those who refuse to compromise on lumbar support while drifting aimlessly in the deep end.

$81ishWANT IT

Inflatable Jousting Logs

A smiling boy in a swimming pool interacting with large inflatable jousting logs.

Turn your backyard pool into a medieval battlefield with these Inflatable Jousting Logs. Balance on vinyl logs and swing boppers to knock your friends into the deep end, settling petty grievances with a high-energy, splashy showdown of oddly specific, water-based violence.

$26ishWANT IT

6-Person Floating Island

Large inflatable white and blue floating island lounge with a blue sunshade canopy on clear water

Why settle for a pathetic pool noodle when you can own a literal floating island for your entire friend group? This massive 6-person lounge features a built-in cooler, cup holders, and a detachable sunshade, ensuring you stay hydrated and shaded while drifting into a state of pure, unadulterated lake-day bliss.

$189ishWANT IT

Waterproof Pool Table

White outdoor pool table with waterproof felt resting on a tiled patio in a garden setting.

There is a pool table designed to survive a literal rainstorm. The Hathaway Alpine features waterproof, UV-resistant felt and a powder-coated aluminum frame, ensuring your break shots remain flawless even when the clouds open up—it’s the ultimate "why does this exist" backyard flex.

$2249ishWANT IT

Tabletop Pool Table

Compact wooden pool table with green felt, cues, and racked billiard balls.

When your apartment is too small for a real pool table but your ego still demands a game of billiards. This 20-inch tabletop set lets you sink shots on your kitchen counter, proving that size doesn't matter as long as the hustle is real and the felt is lint-free.

$29ishWANT IT

Garden Hose Pet Fountain

Angular silver pet fountain resting on stone, connected to a bright yellow garden hose.

Give your pet the luxury of a never-ending backyard oasis with the Aqua Buddy. This hose-connected fountain provides a constant stream of fresh water, ensuring your dog never has to settle for a lukewarm puddle while you’re busy being a superior human.

$23ishWANT IT

Color Changing Fire Packets

Color changing fire packets tossed into a campfire creating vibrant blue and green flames

Turn your backyard bonfire into a full-blown psychedelic ritual with these Mystical Fire packets. Just toss them into a wood fire to summon vibrant green, blue, and purple flames that will make your neighbors think you’re starting a cult. It’s the weirdly necessary upgrade your next camping trip deserves.

$9ishWANT IT

Toilet Paper Spitball Blaster

Backyard toy blaster featuring a toilet paper roll and clear firing cup on a wooden surface

The Toilet Paper Blaster is the ultimate "why does this exist" solution for your next backyard skirmish. It transforms regular rolls into clean, bio-degradable spitballs that fly up to 30 feet, letting you wage a high-stakes war without the gross factor of actual saliva.

$89ishWANT IT

Camera Lens Coffee Mug

Black camera lens replica coffee mug resembling a professional zoom lens.

This Camera Lens Coffee Mug looks so much like a professional Model EF 24-105mm lens that your coworkers will definitely think you’re just prepping for a shoot. It features a stainless steel lining to keep your brew hot while you maintain your status as the office’s most confusingly equipped photographer.

$15ishWANT IT

Guitar Ice Tray

Three guitar-shaped molds set in a bright blue silicone ice tray.

These guitar-shaped ice cubes are the only way to properly rock a cocktail. This silicone tray molds three groovy guitars and includes matching arm stirrers to complete the look, making it the perfect, slightly absurd gift for the friend who takes their beverage aesthetics way too seriously.

$15ishWANT IT