Why I Want It

Other gloriously useless things you definitely need:

Giant Hand Squeeze Shirt

White t-shirt with a graphic print of oversized tan hands squeezing the wearer's torso.

This Giant Hand Squeeze Shirt makes it look like an invisible titan is crushing your torso. It’s the perfect way to let everyone know you’re being physically oppressed by a phantom grip while you’re just trying to buy groceries or hang out.

$19ishWANT IT

Faceless Tuxedo Morphsuit

Black faceless tuxedo morphsuit costume displayed on a white mannequin in a modern hallway.

The faceless tuxedo morphsuit is the ultimate way to attend a gala while simultaneously haunting the buffet table. You get the class of a formal suit paired with the unsettling vibe of a Victorian ghost who lost his head.

$44ishWANT IT

Creepy Window Peeper

Creepy pale peeping tom figure wearing a black hood, positioned against a window.

Give your neighbors a reason to call for help with this Peeping Tom. It’s the ultimate way to ensure no one feels safe in their own home this Halloween, featuring a ghoulish face and a heavy-duty suction cup for maximum, unblinking creepiness.

$42ishWANT IT

Marty McFly's Hoverboard

Upright pink and yellow hoverboard replica with retro striped pattern and "Hover Board" text

Finally, you can own a piece of cinematic history without the pesky side effects of accidental time travel. This 1:1 scale Marty McFly Hoverboard replica features authentic sticker details and foot straps, making it the perfect way to look incredibly cool while remaining firmly grounded on the floor.

$79ishWANT IT

Workaholics Bear Coat

A person wearing a large brown faux fur bear costume coat while relaxing on a sofa.

Finally, you can achieve Blake’s level of peak-performance hibernation in total faux fur luxury. This official Workaholics bear coat is the ultimate way to stay warm while pretending your life isn't a complete disaster, making it a must-have for any fan of the show's absurdity.

$179ishWANT IT

Baking Bad Parody Cookbook

Green parody cookbook cover featuring a cupcake with blue frosting and dramatic smoke.

Give your favorite chemistry-obsessed home baker the ultimate gift with the Baking Bad parody cookbook. It’s the perfect way to cook up some "product" while keeping the neighbors from calling the authorities on your kitchen's suspiciously delicious activity, all while staying strictly within the legal limits of pastry.

$20ishWANT IT

V for Vendetta Mask

V for Vendetta mask in cream color with dramatic black mustache and goatee

This V for Vendetta mask is the ultimate cinematic face for anyone planning a revolution or a very dramatic trip to the grocery store. It provides a sophisticated mastermind look that makes every mundane errand feel like a high-stakes political uprising you’re definitely winning.

$15ishWANT IT

Bearded Barbarian Beanie

Striped knit beanie featuring a bright red barbarian beard pom-pom worn in a snowy mountain setting.

The Bearded Barbarian Beanie is the only way to achieve peak Viking aesthetics without the grueling commitment of actual facial hair. This handmade knit helmet features a removable beard, keeping you warm during hunting trips while ensuring you remain the most confusingly awesome person at every tailgate.

$39ishWANT IT

Toilet Shaped Coffee Mug

White ceramic toilet mug holding coffee, featuring a detailed porcelain tank design.

Nothing says "I've officially lost it" quite like sipping your morning coffee out of a literal ceramic toilet. This 12-ounce mug is the perfect way to flush away boredom and confuse your coworkers while you enjoy your favorite brew from the porcelain throne.

$15ishWANT IT

Total Rickall Card Game

Rick and Morty Total Rickall cooperative card game box with colorful character artwork.

Save the world from interdimensional parasites without the stress of a table captain ruining your vibe. The Rick and Morty Total Rickall Cooperative Card Game lets you root out hidden roles and zany characters, making it the perfect way to ruin your friends' sanity in the name of science.

$12ishWANT IT

Pickpocket-Proof Backpack

Sleek two-tone gray anti-theft backpack with hidden compartments for modern commuters.

This is essentially a portable fortress for your laptop. The XDDesign Bobby Original uses slash-resistant fabric and hidden zippers to keep your tech safe, proving that being slightly paranoid about pickpockets is actually a very chic lifestyle choice for the modern commuter.

$118ishWANT IT

Galaxy Nebula Duvet

Cosmic blue and green nebula patterned duvet cover displayed on a neatly made bed.

This 3D Galaxy Nebula Duvet Cover turns your bed into a literal portal to another dimension. Crafted from cozy, fade-resistant microfiber, it lets you drift into deep space while staying comfortably grounded on Earth—plus, it’s allergy-free, which is a massive win for your space-traveling lungs.

$53ishWANT IT