Why I Want It

Other gloriously useless things you definitely need:

Semi-Automatic Rubber Band Gun

Wooden tactical rubber band gun made of maple wood next to a pile of red rubber bands.

You can finally declare war on your roommates with the semi-automatic rubber band gun. Carved from solid hard rock maple, this tactical masterpiece fires 24 bands in under seven seconds. It’s the ultimate way to settle playground disputes with adult-grade craftsmanship and zero actual danger.

$139ishWANT IT

Semi-Auto Rubber Band Gun

Hardwood pistol-style rubber band gun displayed next to a pile of blue bands.

Why settle for a clothespin when you can have a high-performance, hardwood-crafted tactical weapon for your office supplies? This semi-automatic 1911 fires six rubber bands in under two seconds, providing the perfect level of unnecessary intensity for your next backyard skirmish or desk-side standoff.

$39ishWANT IT

Rubber Band Machine Gun

Wooden toy machine gun model featuring a magazine loaded with red rubber bands.

Why settle for a regular rubber band when you can unleash a high-velocity barrage of office supplies? This electric machine gun fires 16 bands per second, holds 900 rounds, and is the ultimate way to declare war on your coworkers while wearing mandatory safety glasses.

$433ishWANT IT

Toilet Paper Spitball Blaster

Backyard toy blaster featuring a toilet paper roll and clear firing cup on a wooden surface

The Toilet Paper Blaster is the ultimate "why does this exist" solution for your next backyard skirmish. It transforms regular rolls into clean, bio-degradable spitballs that fly up to 30 feet, letting you wage a high-stakes war without the gross factor of actual saliva.

$89ishWANT IT

Indestructible Herding Ball

Large red plastic dog ball with white and yellow lettering, labeled "Virtually Indestructible.

Finally, a ball your dog isn't allowed to chew, catch, or fetch. The Doggie Dooley Virtually Indestructible Dog Ball is a 10-inch hard plastic boulder designed strictly for herding and push-play. It’s the perfect way to channel your dog’s inner bulldozer without destroying your actual furniture.

$29ishWANT IT

Ray Gun UFO Pool Float

Two kids floating on purple UFO pool floats with water squirters in a backyard pool.

The UFO Pool Float with Ray Gun is the only way to properly defend your backyard from aquatic invaders. These retro-styled crafts draw water directly from the pool for a constant stream of chaos, ensuring your neighbors will definitely think you’re starting an intergalactic uprising.

$52ishWANT IT

Nerf Battle Go Kart

Nerf battle go kart with black body, orange wheels, and dedicated blaster mounts for action.

Why settle for a regular backyard war when you can have a mobile fortress? The Nerf Battle Racer is a pedal-powered go-kart featuring dedicated blaster mounts and a handbrake for tactical retreats. It’s the peak of suburban warfare and exactly the kind of unnecessary chaos your driveway is missing.

$109ishWANT IT

Marty McFly's Hoverboard

Upright pink and yellow hoverboard replica with retro striped pattern and "Hover Board" text

Finally, you can own a piece of cinematic history without the pesky side effects of accidental time travel. This 1:1 scale Marty McFly Hoverboard replica features authentic sticker details and foot straps, making it the perfect way to look incredibly cool while remaining firmly grounded on the floor.

$79ishWANT IT

Gangsta Rap Coloring Book

Red coloring book cover with a detailed illustration of a stylized gun and bold text.

Finally, a way to channel your inner menace while practicing mindfulness. The Gangsta Rap Coloring Book lets you unleash your street cred one crayon stroke at a time, making it the ultimate activity for when you need to be aggressively artistic without actually breaking any laws.

$10ishWANT IT

Color Changing Fire Packets

Color changing fire packets tossed into a campfire creating vibrant blue and green flames

Turn your backyard bonfire into a full-blown psychedelic ritual with these Mystical Fire packets. Just toss them into a wood fire to summon vibrant green, blue, and purple flames that will make your neighbors think you’re starting a cult. It’s the weirdly necessary upgrade your next camping trip deserves.

$9ishWANT IT

Glow Capture the Flag

Capture the Flag Redux game box showing players in a glowing outdoor battlefield.

Your backyard is about to become a radioactive neon war zone. Redux turns night into a high-stakes, glowing battlefield where stealth is mandatory, giving you the perfect excuse to sprint like a ninja and ruin your friends' night in the most luminous way possible.

$59ishWANT IT

Salt-Powered Fly Shotgun

Yellow salt-powered fly shotgun resting on a weathered wooden outdoor table.

Why settle for a pathetic swatter when you can turn fly hunting into a tactical operation with the BUG-A-SALT Yellow 3.0? This salt-powered shotgun uses ordinary table salt to blast pests with non-toxic accuracy, making backyard pest control feel like a high-stakes skirmish.

$9ishWANT IT