Why I Want It

Other gloriously useless things you definitely need:

Salt-Powered Fly Shotgun

Yellow salt-powered fly shotgun resting on a weathered wooden outdoor table.

Why settle for a pathetic swatter when you can turn fly hunting into a tactical operation with the BUG-A-SALT Yellow 3.0? This salt-powered shotgun uses ordinary table salt to blast pests with non-toxic accuracy, making backyard pest control feel like a high-stakes skirmish.

$9ishWANT IT

Live Venus Flytrap

Healthy Venus Flytrap plant with striking red and green traps sitting in a white pot.

Finally, a roommate that actually does the chores by eating the house flies. This adult-sized Venus Flytrap is a tiny, leafy assassin that handles your household pests, making it the perfect "living roommate" for anyone who prefers their pest control with a side of menace.

$17ishWANT IT

Knight Egg Holder

Medieval knight egg holder in gray armor, featuring a red crest and a matching spoon.

Your breakfast deserves a level of protection that only medieval chivalry can provide. This Knight Egg Holder keeps your hard-boiled egg safe in shining armor with a matching spoon, because your morning meal needs a security detail that is both completely absurd and deeply satisfying.

$11ishWANT IT

Self-Sustaining Aquarium Garden

Integrated black aquaponics system with a fish tank and vibrant growing herbs.

Finally, a way to turn your fish’s bathroom habits into a gourmet salad bar. The AquaSprouts Aquaponics Garden creates a self-sustaining ecosystem where fish fertilize your herbs while the plants scrub the water clean. It’s basically a tiny, low-maintenance nature documentary happening right on your desk.

$56ishWANT IT

Transforming Picnic Table

Natural wood picnic table and bench set, designed to transform for outdoor dining.

This picnic table is having a serious identity crisis, and honestly, we’re here for it. It smoothly transforms from a full dining setup into a garden bench, allowing you to host a backyard feast and then immediately pretend you don't have a table once the guests leave.

$177ishWANT IT

Cassette Tape Phone Case

Red silicone phone case featuring a detailed retro cassette tape design.

This red silicone Cassette Tape Phone Case turns your iPhone 4 into a nostalgic mixtape for your pocket. It provides a grippy, retro aesthetic that shields your frame from scratches while making your tech look like a curated relic from a much cooler decade.

$1ishWANT IT

Scarface Garden Gnome

Garden gnome statue with a pistol and a base reading "Say hello to my little friend.

Give your backyard the ultimate 1980s Miami makeover with a lawn ornament that actually has a "no trespassing" policy. This Scarface Garden Gnome stands guard as a weather-resistant home defender, looking ridiculously intimidating to the neighbors while providing the perfect amount of gritty, garden-variety chaos.

$26ishWANT IT

Illegal Food War Stories

Illustrated book cover showing a whimsical farm scene with a tank, red barn, and bright sun.

Finally, a way to feel like a culinary outlaw without actually getting arrested. This 352-page paperback chronicles the hilarious, high-stakes battles of sustainable agriculture, turning your backyard garden into a tactical front in a local food war.

$15ishWANT IT

Dinosaur Succulent Planter

Teal dinosaur shaped planter pot sitting on a light wooden surface.

This dinosaur succulent planter is the prehistoric upgrade your boring windowsill desperately needs to feel like a Jurassic park. It features a built-in drainage hole so your tiny cactus can live its best life inside a lightweight, PVC-molded relic that is weirdly perfect for your desk.

$36ishWANT IT

Gentleman's Willy Kit

Open black vanity case filled with small grooming accessories and tools on a wooden surface.

The Gentleman's Willy Care Kit is the ultimate way to ensure your nether regions stay dapper and fashionably presentable. This luxury vanity case houses everything a chap needs for immaculate grooming, making it the perfect gag gift for the man who already has everything.

$55ishWANT IT

Nibble-To-Brush Sticks

Natural miswak sticks and their red branded box resting on a white marble surface.

Nibble-To-Brush Sticks are for people who want to achieve dental hygiene by basically eating their toothbrush. Just peel the bark, nibble it into bristles, and enjoy a chemical-free clean that makes you look like a very sophisticated, very hygienic forest hermit who takes oral care seriously.

$14ishWANT IT

Pro Tech Repair Kit

iFixit Pro Tech Toolkit - Electronics, Smartphone, Computer & Tablet Repair Kit

Stop letting a shattered screen ruin your aesthetic and start your journey toward becoming a backyard electronics surgeon. The iFixit Pro Tech Toolkit provides 64 precision bits and specialized prying tools, giving you the god-like power to repair your own tech while looking suspiciously like a professional.

$27ishWANT IT